American Man Meets His Filipina Fiancee For the First Time

Pewdiepie's newest video is a running commentary on the journey of a man who meets his Filipina fiancee for the first time. How does it turn out?  Is she scamming him? Who the heck puts mayonnaise in their hair?? Watch as he navigates the cultural divide between the USA and the Philippines.

How Google Classifies Certain Filipinos

I noticed something very interesting when searching Google for Joma Sison.

Rather than labelling him a politician or a terrorist or the founder of the Communist Party of the Philippines Google refers to him as a Filipino writer. Just like national hero Jose Rizal.

Sure Rizal was an ophthalmologist but doesn't his literary talent overshadow his medical practice?What about the organisation Sison founded? The CPP is considered a terrorist organisation by many governments. What does Google say?

A political party? Absolutely not. Certain party-list groups not withstanding no one in any office in the Philippines is a member of this "political party."  What about their armed wing the NPA?

Armed service? That is rather close to armed force. Which is what Google labels the Philippine Army. Google's algorithm says the NPA and the Philippine Army are basically the same.

Let's try some other famous Filipinos and Philippine groups and see what Google has to say about them.

Nur Misuari, founder of the MNLF, is a mere politician.  Just like Risa Hontiveros.

If Nur Misuari is a politician then what does that make his group the MNLF? 

A political organisation obviously. And just as obviously this is all wrong. The MNLF is a Muslim separatist group formed in the 70's. It has never been and never will be a political organisation. The MNLF is without question a terrorist organisation who fought against the Philippine government and is still at odds with them after they were ousted from the ARMM and the BARMM was put in place. The Zamboanga siege of 2013 was the MNLF's last big operation. 

What about other people who are terrorists and the groups they are connected with?  How does Google classify them?

None of these men are listed as terrorists nor are these groups listed as terrorist organisations. Why? Actually if you search for Bin Laden, Ramzi Yousef, Khalid Sheik Mohammed, ISIS, Taliban, Al-Qaeda, and many others none them are labelled either terrorist or terrorist organisation. In fact they have no label at all. Why does Google refuse to label these men as terrorists and these groups as terrorists organisations? I don't know.  But I do know Google manipulates search results.

https://www.businessinsider.com/google-manipulates-search-results-report-2019-11

But a new Wall Street Journal investigation found that Google manipulated search algorithms in some worrying ways, including prioritizing large businesses over smaller ones, removing autocomplete results that involve sensitive topics like immigration and abortion, and even outright blacklisting some websites.

Is that what is going on here? IS terrorism to sensitive to call out and label? Again I don't know but it is a little strange.

Let's try just a few more. What does Google think of the MILF and its current chairman who is head of the BARMM?

The MILF is just an armed force like the NPA and the Philippine Army while Murad, who is a terrorist heading the BARMM, has no label. I could fill up this page all day with anomalies like the ones above but I will leave you with two more. Two very well known politicians. Senators Vic Sotto and Grace Poe. How does the Google algorithm categorise them?

Senate President Sotto is a mere actor and Senator Poe is a businesswoman. What business does she own?

Try it yourself with other personalities. See what you come up with.

Broom-Broom Cars

Can you think of a better name for a car dealership than Broom-Broom Cars?

Everyone wants a car with a strong engine that roars out Broom-Broom! Would you buy a car from a dealer named Putt-Putt Cars or Clunk-Clunk Cars. I don't think so.

This onomatopoeia car dealership gives me a a few ideas for similarly named businesses like Chop-Chop Butcher Shop, Glug-Glug water refill station, and Chomp-Chomp Burger Joint.

What this sign really reminds me of more than anything else is Speed Buggy.

With his catchphrase, "Vroom-a-zoom-zoom!" I think Speed Buggy would approve of this dealership's name.

Things That Don't Make Any Sense

Let's end 2018 by taking a look at some things that don't make a bit of sense.

SM always has the strangest deals. Buy four cans of San Mig Light and get a roll of paper towels free. Or is it buy a roll of paper towels and get four cans of San Mig Light free? How do these two items go together? Maybe you will spill your beer and need a paper towel to clean up. Maybe you can use the a paper towel as a beer coozie. Maybe they are just trying to get rid of stocks as fast as possible.

After a hard day at work in the sugar cane fields it's time to wash your clothes. But where to hang them? Why not in the bed? But are these the driver's clothes or the harvester's clothes? Where did they wash them? Since many drivers sleep in their trucks either in the cab or in a hammock under the bed perhaps it's not so strange to hang up the wash in the empty bed.

Nothing strange about an ATM right? Sure but look at the computer on the ground.

That is the brain of this ATM. Anyone can come along and unplug the machine if they so choose. But people aren't that malicious you say. So what? The point is the machine should be secure. How hard is it to have this ATM against the wall and the computer running it protected and out of sight?

Touching butts while taking a pee. Who designed this??

I looked down and there it was. The tooth. Where did it come from? How did it get there? The world will never know.

Well thank goodness the construction team is kind enough to warn us not to park here. We would not want debris falling on and destroying our vehicle. What are they building anyway?  

NOTHING!!!  There is literally no construction happening but this sign is warning of falling debris. Falling from where? The sky?? Ridiculous.

Duterte A Strongman?

Time magazine's latest issue has Duterte grouped with other world leaders as a "strongman."

But Duterte has categorically rejected this label.  He is in fact not a strongman at all.

Maybe he should start lifting? Or maybe hoe could take some lessons from Putin who dominates not only the cover of Time but all the other so-called "Strongmen."

DU40

Duterte won the election and one of his voters decided to leave up his campaign poster.

After two years someone finally got tired of staring at the handsome face of President Duterte.

Interesting how they only cut out his face and left the rest of the poster. This poster had been up for almost two years and was only recently vandalised. Can it be someone is displeased with Duterte or are they just having a laugh or is it a spat with the neighbour? In the same neighbourhood there is a barbershop with a very familiar name.

DU40

For a Headshot Este....Headshop

BARBER SHOP

A PLACE TO REALAX WHILE KNOWING FEW LITTLE THINGS AROUND US ABOUT FACTS AND REALITY

I'm sure that business is making a killing!

Duterte and the Women

This is an image I pieced together from the video on this page: http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/nationworld/ct-duterte-female-rebels-20180212-story.html. 

I arranged it like a storyboard. The facial expressions they chose to place with the text are rather funny. Especially the bottom left. A few days ago I posted this on the Philippinefails Facebook page. Come take a look if you haven't already. http://facebook.com/philippinefails/

The Sexiest Lady in The Philippines

Here she is.  The sexiest lady in all the Philippines.  Eat your heart out Pia Wurtzbach. 

The Philippines Has Fallen Down

Supreme Court Associate Justice Lucas Bersamin has been watching a lot of movies lately.  

http://newsinfo.inquirer.net/960901/sc-justice-fears-movies-about-terrorism-could-become-reality

“Oh I watched so many movies like White House has fallen, London has fallen. These are very terrifying realities that could happen in a few years’ time,” Bersamin said, adding that the framers crafted a constitution “that constricted the use of the ultimate power to actual invasion and actual rebellion.”

These terrifying realities pictured in the very realistic films White House Has Fallen and London Has Fallen are very terrifying. What if a group of terrorists takes over Malacañang? Is Duterte in good enough shape to team up with his head of security to kick some butt just like in the movies? Let's hope so!

The Philippines is Officially Not A "Shithole"

By now you have probably heard about President Donald Trump lamenting the fact that so many immigrants to the USA come from "shithole" countries. Whether he actually said this or not please be comforted by the fact that the Philippines did not make the cut.  This country is not on the list and is officially not a "shithole."

Ain't She A Beautiful Sight?

'Cause we got a little conass

Rockin' through the night.

Yeah, we got a little conass,

Ain't she a beautiful sight?

Come on and join our conass

Ain't nothin' gonna get in our way.

We gonna roll this truckin' conass

'Cross the P-H-L.
Conass!

Con-Ass

The current administration wants a new Constitution. One of the ways to do that is to convene a  special session where the House and Senate gather together to craft a Constitution. This is called a Constituent Assembly. It is also known by another name.

Con-Ass.

Buckle up!

Let the People Decide to Declare War

Presenting the first music video from Philippinefails.

Enjoy!  

Filipino Shorthand

Filipinos have a peculiarity in their English.  They like to combine words to make short phrases.  Here are a few examples.

http://www.philstar.com/headlines/2017/04/27/1694457/solgen-calida-tadeco-bucor-deal-void

Instead of typing out "Solicitor General" the press calls this guy "SolGen." Sounds funky. Great name for a funk soul band. SoulGen. As in soul generator.

And Bu-Cor?  What the heck is that? That's the Bureau of Corrections.  Tadeco is the Tagum Agricultural Development Corporation.  Quite a mouthful.

How about this one:

http://newsinfo.inquirer.net/932902/sogie-equality-bill-outing-gender-identity-emmeline-villar-kaka-bag-ao-geraldine-roman

What is a sogie?  It's nothing. There is no such thing as a sogie. "Sogie" is an acronym which means whoever wrote this article messed up by not capitalising each letter as such: SOGIE.  SOGIE is an acronym for Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity Expression.

Chinese bizmen?  Bizmen is not even a word.  What they really mean is Chinese business men.  They could have fit that in the headline if they had decreased the font size. But they didn't so now this news paper looks stupid.

Here's a real testament to how lazy journalists in the Philippines can be.  Compare these two headlines.

http://www.gmanetwork.com/news/news/nation/628553/afp-won-t-be-involved-in-destab-plots-spokesman/story/

http://www.philstar.com/headlines/2017/10/06/1746132/destabilization-plots-wont-come-military-afp-spokesman

What is a destab plot?  Does it involve knives?  Will the AFP be stabbing people to death? Nope.  GMA News was just too lazy to type out the full word: destabilisation. But Philstar did type it out. See? Proper English is not so hard.

How about this one:

http://www.philstar.com/food-and-leisure/2017/11/04/1754276/heres-how-mcdo-made-undas-experience-better

McDo? How is that even pronounced? Long "O" or short "O"? And who orders McDonalds to eat at the cemetery while they are praying for their dead relatives?

http://www.philstar.com/opinion/2017/11/21/1760915/why-i-will-not-run-senator

TRAPOS?  That's a new one. Short for "traditional politician." This is probably the worst one yet. Is this a word to be said out loud in conversation or is it a literary device only?

And now finally the number one shorthand word used all over the Philippines.  It's basically a new word all its own.

Unli.  Short for unlimited this "word" is used mostly by the telecoms to advertise their phone plans but is also used by restaurants to advertise all you can eat or drink deals.

I am sure there are lots more of these shorthand words. This is only a small sample. It's not surprising that Filipinos would take the English language and make it their own. They have also done the same with Spanish. It is interesting and funny how language evolves within a culture. Each culture works out its own creative wordsmithing.