Showing posts with label unexpected. Show all posts
Showing posts with label unexpected. Show all posts

Saturday, December 16, 2017

A Barrel of Gasoline

Just look at this!

LOOK!




Why is he being allowed to fill up a huge plastic barrel with gasoline?  It looks like there might not even be a cover on that barrel. Is he screwing on a cap in that last picture? Hard to tell but who cares, it's huge barrel of gasoline on the back of a truck with no door on the bed! Also looks like its only being held in place with a flimsy string tied around the top. 

What if he hit his brakes too hard or if he got into an accident? The barrel would roll right off and...BOOM!!!! Deadly explosion just waiting to happen. I bet he is going to sell that gasoline too. Transfer it to Coke bottles and sell it to passing motorcyclists. I have seen roadside gas stands in plenty of places. Are those even legal?

This whole situation is.........(fill in the blank) !!!!!

Wednesday, December 6, 2017

Let the People Decide to Declare War

Presenting the first music video from Philippinefails.


Enjoy!  



Filipino Shorthand

Filipinos have a peculiarity in their English.  They like to combine words to make short phrases.  Here are a few examples.

http://www.philstar.com/headlines/2017/04/27/1694457/solgen-calida-tadeco-bucor-deal-void
Instead of typing out "Solicitor General" the press calls this guy "SolGen." Sounds funky. Great name for a funk soul band. SoulGen. As in soul generator.

And Bu-Cor?  What the heck is that? That's the Bureau of Corrections.  Tadeco is the Tagum Agricultural Development Corporation.  Quite a mouthful.

How about this one:

http://newsinfo.inquirer.net/932902/sogie-equality-bill-outing-gender-identity-emmeline-villar-kaka-bag-ao-geraldine-roman
What is a sogie?  It's nothing. There is no such thing as a sogie. "Sogie" is an acronym which means whoever wrote this article messed up by not capitalising each letter as such: SOGIE.  SOGIE is an acronym for Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity Expression.


Chinese bizmen?  Bizmen is not even a word.  What they really mean is Chinese business men.  They could have fit that in the headline if they had decreased the font size. But they didn't so now this news paper looks stupid.

Here's a real testament to how lazy journalists in the Philippines can be.  Compare these two headlines.
http://www.gmanetwork.com/news/news/nation/628553/afp-won-t-be-involved-in-destab-plots-spokesman/story/
http://www.philstar.com/headlines/2017/10/06/1746132/destabilization-plots-wont-come-military-afp-spokesman
What is a destab plot?  Does it involve knives?  Will the AFP be stabbing people to death? Nope.  GMA News was just too lazy to type out the full word: destabilisation. But Philstar did type it out. See? Proper English is not so hard.

How about this one:

http://www.philstar.com/food-and-leisure/2017/11/04/1754276/heres-how-mcdo-made-undas-experience-better
McDo? How is that even pronounced? Long "O" or short "O"? And who orders McDonalds to eat at the cemetery while they are praying for their dead relatives?
http://www.philstar.com/opinion/2017/11/21/1760915/why-i-will-not-run-senator
TRAPOS?  That's a new one. Short for "traditional politician." This is probably the worst one yet. Is this a word to be said out loud in conversation or is it a literary device only?

And now finally the number one shorthand word used all over the Philippines.  It's basically a new word all its own.



Unli.  Short for unlimited this "word" is used mostly by the telecoms to advertise their phone plans but is also used by restaurants to advertise all you can eat or drink deals.

I am sure there are lots more of these shorthand words. This is only a small sample. It's not surprising that Filipinos would take the English language and make it their own. They have also done the same with Spanish. It is interesting and funny how language evolves within a culture. Each culture works out its own creative wordsmithing.

Sunday, November 19, 2017

Tweets and Headlines Revealed Again

Put on those glasses again! Here are more tweets and headlines with the light of truth shined upon them.




Without Glasses

With Glasses

Without Glasses

With Glasses
Without Glasses
With Glasses
Without Glasses
With Glasses
Without Glasses
With Glasses

Wednesday, November 15, 2017

A Filipino Trapped in a White Man's Body

So there's this white guy in Florida who thinks he is a Filipino.

http://www.wtsp.com/news/transracial-man-born-white-feels-like-he-is-filipino/491290902
Riding in a flamboyant purple vehicle, Ja Du shows up to a coffee shop to open up about his new identity. 
Ja Du, born a white male named Adam, now considers himself a Filipino. Turns out the purple ride he drives around in is called a Tuk Tuk, an Asian-derived vehicle used for public transit in the Philippines he says. 
Ja Du is part of a small, but growing community of people who considers themselves transracial. It refers to someone born one race, but identifies with another. 
Sound weird? Not to them. Ja Du says he grew up enjoying Filipino food, events and the overall culture. 
“Whenever I’m around the music, around the food, I feel like I’m in my own skin,” he said. 
“I’d watch the history channel sometimes for hours you know whenever it came to that and you know nothing else intrigued me more but things about Filipino culture.”
Sound weird?  Of course not. It sounds stupid.  He thinks he is Filipino but he drives a Tuk Tuk?  That's Cambodian not Filipino. He needs a tricycle with a loud motor and a booming sound system.


Ja Du? What kind name is that?  Not a Filipino name that's for sure. Try Jun Jun or Ding Dong.

How did he grow up enjoying Filipino food?  What exactly does he mean?  Did he grow up eating this:



Or did he eat adobo at a friends house?  No way he ate lechon baboy or roasted chicken the way they do it here. Has he ever eaten fried chicken from a cart? Balut? Anything from a food cart on a regular basis?

What does he mean that he would watch the History Channel for hours and get intrigued about Filipino culture? Last time I checked the History Channel was bereft of any real history (remember when it was called the Hitler Channel because all it showed was WW2 documentaries?) and instead broadcasts reality shows and speculative shows about aliens and the apocalypse.
The channel originally broadcast documentary programs and historical fiction series. More recently, it has mostly broadcast various reality television series such as Pawn StarsAx Men, and other non-history related content. The network is criticized by many scientists, historians, and skeptics for broadcasting pseudo-documentaries, unsubstantiated and sensational investigative programming, such as Ancient AliensUFO HuntersBrad Meltzer's Decoded, and the Nostradamus Effect.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_(U.S._TV_network)
Some more questions for Ja Du:

Does he use toilet paper? Does he shower or bathe from a bucket? Does he use his phone all the time and talk really loud into it?  Does cockfighting interest him? Does he freely litter with no regrets?  Does he prefer fake instant coffee to the real deal? Does he wear flip flops in all situations? Does he love basketball? Is he a part of the Aldub Nation? Has he ever watched an episode of Ang Probinsyano? Does he watch It's Showtime? (You can watch those shows on Youtube so there is no excuse.)

Most important of all: Does he LOVE karaoke? I didn't read a thing about karaoke in the article or hear him mention it in the video. 

This guy is not a Filipino. It's ridiculous. You just know when he says he enjoys the "overall culture" he has no clue what he is taking about. Why he would feel Filipino when he can't even get the basics down pat is not even worth exploring.  There are Westerners here in the Philippines who have "gone native."  They have Youtube videos I won't promote by linking to.  Ok maybe just one.


That particular guy, Kyle Jennerman, is as naive as can be.  I wrote about him previously. 


The best cure for Ja Du is to actually visit this place. Then he will find out for sure that he is not a Filipino.  He's just a crazy white man.

Saturday, November 11, 2017

Behind the Headlines

Time to put on your glasses again!



Read the headlines with new eyes.

Without Glasses
With Glasses

Without Glasses
With Glasses


Without Glasses
With Glasses

Without Glasses
With Glasses


Without Glasses
With Glasses

Without Glasses
With Glasses

Sunday, October 22, 2017

Motorcycle Madness/Standing in Trucks All in One Video

You never know what you are going to see when you leave the house. Just when you think you have seen everything something more ridiculous comes along.



Why are they all standing in the back of a moving vehicle?  Why is there a little girl sitting on the motorcycle?  Why do none of these people care about their safety or the safety of the little girl? 

One swerving motorcycle, jeepney, taxi, sugarcane truck, or car causing the driver to slam on the brakes and it's all over for these people. The most shocking thing about driving in the Philippines isn't the complete lack of concern drivers have for safety and the rules of the road but the fact that there aren't more deadly accidents.

Friday, October 6, 2017

The Gardener

I saw this guy and his carabao heading into a gated community.  Where was he going?  What was he doing?  Does he know carabao do not belong in a housing community?





Ah I see now!  This guy is the gardener.  He is ploughing the garden.  I'm sure its a garden because this is a gated community and not a farm. No way anyone would be using this land like it's farm land.  It's just a private garden.


That's a pretty big garden!


Looks like he has a green thumb since all these plants sprouted rather quickly.

Saturday, September 30, 2017

Here Comes The Predator

It's not every day you see The Predator riding a motorcycle.



Get to da choppah!!!!

Friday, September 1, 2017

What's That on the Basketball Court

I saw the weirdest thing on the basketball court.  


Pretty strange.  What's with all those tarps?  Let's take a look.



It's rice!

Someone is temporarily storing their rice on the basketball court.  How nice of them.  How did they even get it there? It didn't stay long though. But it should never have been there in the first place! What if someone had wanted to play basketball?  They wouldn't be able to because of the huge tarps of rice all over the court.

One thing about living in the Philippines is people use things inappropriately. Like they use their housing lot in a gated community to have a rabbit, duck, and chicken farm.




Do I need to describe how awful this place smells?  And this is in a gated community!

The basketball court is for basketball. Not storing your dried rice. And a gated housing community is not a farm. But in the Philippines it truly is anything goes.