Reading Tweets With Glasses On

When you read a tweet you might not realise that 99% of the time it is complete garbage. You need to put on your glasses to see the real meaning.  Like in the classic John Carpenter film "They Live."

So put on your glasses and let's see what these tweets really mean.

Without Glasses

With Glasses

Without Glasses

With Glasses

Without Glasses

With Glasses

Without Glasses

With Glasses

Without Glasses

With Glasses

Retards in the Government 19

This is part 19 of Retards in the Government. In this edition we tread the same old ground: corruption and stupidity in the Philippine government at every single level. On the stupidity front we here at Philippinefails look forward to new presidential spokesperson Harry Roque to bring us much needed comic relief.

http://newsinfo.inquirer.net/941990/war-on-drugs-customs-smuggling-rodrigo-duterte-paolo-duterte-manases-carpio

What "independent agencies" is he referring to? The PDEA, the Ombudsman, these are just two independent offices which are charged with these kind of investigations.  So let the investigation begin!

http://news.abs-cbn.com/news/11/01/17/duterte-inday-sara-not-interested-in-presidency

President Duterte also said he was not interested in the presidency several times before he jumped into the race. Sara Duterte said she was not interested in a national position and then said she will be running for a seat in the House, a national position. Only time will tell what her real intentions are.

http://newsinfo.inquirer.net/942034/roque-i-wont-curse-like-duterte-but-ill-scream

Roque, nevertheless, said his presence in the President’s camp could provide the proper legal context to Mr. Duterte’s often controversial statements, which include threats to kill people he thinks are destroying the country.

You know what would be best of all?  If Duterte did not curse and make death threats. But Duterte is so out of control he just can't manage to do that.

http://www.gmanetwork.com/news/news/nation/631545/fake-news-trillanes-says-on-alleged-little-narco-tag-by-trump/story/

To quote British Prime Minister Benjamin Disraeli: "There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and tweets based on fake news and posted by R.J. Nieto." The real source of this fake news is apparently this.

https://www.rappler.com/business/187035-philippines-ease-doing-business-world-bank

http://www.philstar.com/business/2017/11/01/1754304/government-policies-still-worry-eu-businesses

If you ask some they will say investments and business is booming in the Philippines. Facts seem to say otherwise. All the investment though? It's the government borrowing money to pay for Duterte's Build Build Build program. And after the building of roads what money will be paying to Maintain, Maintain, Maintain?

http://www.gmanetwork.com/news/news/nation/631596/duterte-asean-leaders-dream-of-cohesive-partnership-with-all/story/

Duterte is no economist. His lousy "Dutertenomics" program which has its foundations rooted in borrowing trillions to pay for infrastructure projects is proof of that. The EU is more than just an economic region. It is also a political entity wherein the member states agree to give up aspects of sovereignty in exchange for admission. Is that what Dutere wants? Not to mention the EU is plagued with social and economic problems enough. The member nations of the ASEAN are already among the most corrupt in the world. This is a bad idea. Just as bad as the BBL and federalism.

http://www.livingasean.com/explore/8-asean-countries-fare-badly-corruption-index/

Even the experts agree.

http://www.philstar.com/business/2017/11/02/1754925/inadequate-infra-cumbersome-procedures-stunt-aseans-economic-integration

https://www.rappler.com/nation/187020-philippines-ranking-unsolved-media-killings-impunity-index

This reminds me of something.  What was it?  Oh I remember!

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-36423329

http://www.philstar.com/headlines/2017/11/02/1754907/coa-seeks-criminal-probe-dbms-p38.8-b-malampaya-fund-releases

http://www.philstar.com/headlines/2017/11/02/1754884/roque-duterte-could-make-difference-korean-peninsula-tension

Duterte can't even muster the courage to tell China to stop expansion in the SCS. What a joke! Speaking of jokes, Harry Roque held his first press conference today.

http://newsinfo.inquirer.net/942444/harry-roque-presidential-spokesperson-rodrigo-duterte-hollow-blocks-dds-politics

Truly it's the beginning of a wonderful circus side show. This guy even wants to have weekly updates in Marawi! What a wasteful and dangerous thing to do. Someone else has aptly described the Harry Roque situation and I will end with his assessment.

Bawal Umihi Dito 2

It's pee-pee time! They don't do this in Singapore! 

All Saints Day Unholiness

In the Philippines there is nothing sacred. I can hear the steady boom-boom-boom coming from a stack of speakers miles away at the cemetery. Absolutely no solemnity on All Saints Day.  No quiet prayers for the Church Triumphant or remembrance of the dead. Nope. Just a chaotic party. An excuse to eat spaghetti and take a day off work.  Pretty pathetic. Only in the Philippines could one of the holiest days of the year become one of the noisiest.

Here are some photos from the cemetery earlier.

I have heard plenty of complaints about the "Americanisation" of Christianity. You know what that means?  That's code for evangelicalism and word of faith prosperity nonsense.  People ought to know about the "Philippineisation" of Christianity. That's when the most solemn and holy festivals turn into barbecues and dance parties.

Just imagine al the garbage and litter that will be left in the cemeteries all over the country.

Retards in the Government 18

It's part 18 of Retards in the government. We are all grown up now. But Philippines politicians remain  stunted in their growth.

http://www.gmanetwork.com/news/news/nation/631216/mocha-wants-to-sue-person-behind-wrong-marawi-photo-she-shared-on-blog/story/

Mocha shared a photo that someone else posted that she did not verify and now she wants to file a complaint against this person. The Presidential Communications Operations Office is a joke. 

http://www.philstar.com/headlines/2017/10/28/1753342/duterte-ombudsmans-order-dismissing-mabilog-very-late-gesture-support

Duterte thinks the Ombudsman is so corrupt that the only reason she ordered Mabilog's dismissal is to curry his favour and not because it was the just thing to do!

http://newsinfo.inquirer.net/941212/roque-to-reduce-impact-of-duterte-statements-seeming-to-back-rights-violations

http://www.gmanetwork.com/news/news/nation/631266/duterte-on-roque-s-appointment-i-will-not-explain-why-i-did-it/story/

http://www.philstar.com/headlines/2017/10/30/1753922/roque-duterte-critics-if-you-throw-stones-ill-throw-hollow-blocks

Who is Harry Roque?

And what is his mission?

Kabayan Rep. Harry Roque has agreed to become President Rodrigo Duterte’s spokesperson with this goal in mind: “to reduce, if not totally eradicate, the impact of statements which appear to support genocide or violations of fundamental human rights.”

Why, he's Duterte's new spin doctor! And watch out press! If you have any criticism of the president you will be dealt with. And never mind why this man was appointed to this position.  That's Duterte's business and Duterte does not have to answer to anyone.

http://www.philstar.com/headlines/2017/10/30/1753941/coa-pcso-employees-officials-got-p500m-unauthorized-bonuses-2016

In its 2016 Annual Financial Report on GOCCs released on October 26, the state audit body identified eight state firms, including the PCSO, to have granted perks to its officials and employees without “sufficient legal basis” totaling P619.771 million.

That sure is a lot of waste.  How much more money is being wasted that has not been accounted for?  You know what could be done with that extra money?  Let's hear Bato:

http://cnnphilippines.com/news/2017/10/30/ronald-dela-rosa-pnp-salary-increase-january-2018.html

http://news.abs-cbn.com/news/10/30/17/bato-to-retirees-wait-til-im-president-ill-quadruple-your-pay

Quadruple the pay of retirees??? People who are literally doing nothing and are given a fixed retirement amount on which to live as a thanks for their service? Where does Bato think money comes from? Trees? The money trees are also where the monkeys live who would ever vote for this guy for president. But hypothetically how much would such a scheme cost?

http://www.philstar.com/headlines/2017/10/30/1753951/ping-bato-pay-hike-promise-hardest-part-doing-math

At least P5-trillion seed money would be needed to fund the planned compensation adjustment for military and uniformed personnel, Sen. Panfilo "Ping" Lacson said Monday. 

The senator also noted that other agencies said that the seed money for the compensation adjustment for uniformed personnel may even reach P9 trillion.

9 trillion pesos!!?? That is 3 times the national budget! Free university education, Dutertenomics, and rebuilding Marawi alone will being eating a large chuck of that. How would the Philippines afford 9 trillion pesos in seed money plus the money needed to continue to fund the program quadrupling the pay for retirees? Bato is talking out of his butt-o and if he ever was elected president this would surely become a failed promise. 

http://www.philstar.com/headlines/2017/10/31/1754228/rody-vows-best-behavior-meeting-emperor

Sad!  But it is a confession that his behaviour is not always his best. The path to recovery begins with confession.

http://newsinfo.inquirer.net/941717/sss-execs-probed-for-profiteering

Is the chief investment manager of the Social Security System (SSS) illegally profiting from his position by trading stocks for their personal accounts using the same stockbrokers who manage the portfolio of the state-administered pension fund? 

SSS Commissioner Jose Gabriel “Pompee” La Viña thinks so, and he has filed a complaint against Rizaldy Capulong, the fund’s executive vice president for investments, and three other officers whom he accused of “serious dishonesty and grave misconduct.”

Everything here is a scam.  Especially SSS.  I have heard too many stories about money being taken out by employers but not recorded in SSS archives even though there were receipts to prove the withholdings!

http://www.gmanetwork.com/news/news/nation/631478/de-lima-backs-duterte-s-call-for-immediate-approval-of-bbl/story/

All that fighting in Marawi was for nothing. If the Maute Group had only waited the Philippine government would have handed them an Islamic State free of charge. Of course they would have had to do battle with BIFF, Abu Sayyaf, MNLF, MILF and a few others for control but that would have been a small price to pay.