The Plumber

For months the kitchen sink faucet had been leaking.  It was easily jury-rigged with a stick pressed against the pipe to lessen the leak.

Dramatic reenactment

The fix looked a bit like this. Over time the stick became waterlogged, shrunk, and the leak worsened. It was time to call a plumber. I wanted a professional but as these are hard to find, you can't just go online and find one easily, I was stuck with hiring a guy who is not a plumber but can easily fix your pipes because he's experimented enough to know where to stick what. He also fixed the toilet before.

So he comes over, takes everything apart, and says all we need is tape. Immediately my gut is killing me.  Tape?  Are you sure it's a matter of tape and not a broken pipe? He is positive its just a matter of enough tape.  So I fork over 30 pesos to the helper who goes out to fetch some from up the street.  All the while I am saying out loud and to myself, "There is no way it's a matter of tape. The pipe is obviously busted."

The helper returns, the plumber tapes up the pipe and puts everything back together and....it's still leaking.  He takes it all apart again and looks at the pipe this time and golly what do you know? The pipe is cracked! 

Can you see the crack? It's very slight and its on the bottom of the threaded portion of the pipe. I fork over more money to the helper to buy a pipe.  As he runs off on his errand the plumber whips out his plumber's saw and slices off a piece of pipe.  

Why would he do that you ask? Because he is going to use it to marry those two pieces near the can of epoxy. He glues the pieces together and then wraps the end in tape. (Why is it always tape? Whether it's plumbing or electrical work you can count on Filipinos using tape to hold it all together.)

Look at all that tape!  What a mess!

 All right!  Finished. Looking good and now it's all put back together.  

 Let's turn it on!

Oh no! The jury-rigged pipe covered in tape is leaking!  What a surprise!  What's the solution?  To send the helper out for one more piece of pipe which the plumber then marries to the other pieces with the epoxy. Will it work?

The pipe is not bursting at the seams like before so it's a success.  Right?  Wrong. There is still a slight leak at the wall. Kind of like a dribble. Solution?  If you said more tape, congratulations you are a winner.

See how now the base of the pipe is covered in tape? I don't know if that actually fixed the leak 100% but it's good enough for the plumber and it's as good as I am going to get. And that's pretty much how it is here.  You end up settling for what's good enough because there's never anything better.

Jeepney Art 8

Time for more jeepney art!

Sorry Sir, We Are Now Offline

I decided to stop off at a Globe store to pay my phone and internet bill. Not wanting to stop at the  busy mall I visited a tiny out of the way store where there is usually not a crowd.

The doorman handed me a number and I sat down to wait. Number 9. Third in line. The first person was done transacting business shortly after I arrived. The next customer took about 10 minutes to process whatever he was doing.

Then number 8 was called.  I have no idea what he was doing but he pulled out all of his receipts and dumped them on the counter looking for something. Finally after about 15 minutes he pulls out a 1000 peso bill and his transaction looks as if it is almost over.  

But then the lights flashed and the roar of the air-conditioner became silent.

A power outage!  A POWER OUTAGE! 

I asked the cashier, "Did the power just go out. Will I still be able to pay my bill."

"Sorry sir, we are now offline but you can come back later."

"So I just wasted 30 minutes for nothing!!!", I shouted and stormed out.

I had to walk back to the store because I left with my numbered ticket. I will never return to that store.  It's actually not the first time this has happened. There have been a few instances when I have arrived at opening time only to be told they are offline and please come back later. 

Why don't they have generators or some way to insure they are never offline or only briefly? It's bad for the customer and the business as it stops work completely.

Martial Law: T'was a Few Weeks Before Martial Law Expired

This week's martial law update will be a little different.  In the style of "T'was the Night Before Christmas," I present: 

"T’was a Few Weeks Before Martial Law Expired"

T’was a few weeks before martial law expired, when all through the Philippines

Not a creature was stirring, except ISIS and Commies;

The AFP was hunting the bad guys with care,

In hopes that peace soon would be there;

The Mindanaoans were nestled all snug in their beds,

While visions of Marcos danced in their heads;

And MNLF with their guns and MILF their demand,

Expecting the government give them a huge chunk of land,

When way up in Malcañang there arose such a clatter,

The whole nation sprang to see what was the matter.

Away to the internet they flew like a flash,

To read the news that had arrived at last!

The AFP said, “We need a one-year extension.”

And Duterte said, “Yes,” to the reccomendation,

Citing on-going threats throughout the region,

And the public safety requiring it as a very good reason.

“With NPA attacks coming so lively and quick,

As well as the threat of the group called ISIS,

More rapid than eagles I ask, please convene, 

A special joint session to vote on this thing.”

“Now, GORDON! now, GATCHALIAN! now, BINAY and SOTTO!

On, LACSON! on ZUBIRI! On ALVAREZ and EJERCITO!

To the floor of the Senate! To the Congressional hall!

Now vote away! vote away! vote away all!”

And then, in a twinkling, it was said on the news

Both houses had assembled to give forth thier views.

As arguments from both sides caused heads to spin ‘round

It was not long before the verdict was laid down.

“There is no more rebellion or invasion afoot”

Came the reply from the opposition’s suit.

“But Mindanaoans wish to keep martial law to stave off attack,

They all know Duterte and the AFP have got their back.”

The debate — how it twinkled! the voices how merry!

“Martial law for the nation!?” “No! Stop being scary!

The threat is from ISIS and NPA in Mindanao,

No reason to spread martial law, at least not for now.”

Holding in their emotions and gritting their teeth,

Each Congressman finally voted much to everyone’s relief.

Gleefully the Speaker of the House registered the tally

Oh! How Alvarez shook as he spoke, like a bowlful of jelly,

“The House votes in favour of a one year extension.”

Sotto announced the Senate voted with the same intention.

The opposition squirmed and with a twist of the head,

Replied, "The results of this vote gives much to dread."

Rep. Lagman spoke harshly about how the Constitution should work,

Saying words have a meaning which you can’t bend and jerk!

And nervously sliding his glasses up his nose,

Declared that to the Supreme Court he goes!

SolGen Calida on hearing of this move, to the media gave a whistle,

Conceding that a Supreme Court challenge is his right most official.

And loud did he exclaim, ere he vanished out of sight,

“TO THOSE WHO INTEND TO CHALLENGE MARTIAL LAW, GOOD LUCK AND GOOD NIGHT!”

Bad and Weird Shopping Deals

Buy one get one free. Half off. Free X with purchase of Y.  These are deals every shopper comes across in the store.  While shopping in the Philippines I have come across some downright weird and perplexing deals.

Free peanut butter with purchase of toilet paper.  Which Filipinos even buy toilet paper? I should like to meet them. And what has toilet paper to do with peanut butter? Free toilet cleaner would have been a more useful item to pair with toilet paper.

Exchange 200 US dollars and get two batteries?  Or is it a whole pack of 4, 8, or 16 AA batteries? Either way it does not make sense. One wants the best exchange rate when changing bills. That should be the only consideration when making that transaction.

Buy 10 and take 1?  10???  Who needs 11 toaster ovens?  And who would spend 74,000 pesos to get one free toaster oven?  You could buy one toaster oven and use the change to buy the new and overpriced iPhone X.

I think these bad deals might be symptomatic of deeper culture issues. Symptomatic of the need to get the best deal possible at the expense of someone else. I can't count how many times I have heard, "Can I get a discount?" Symptomatic also of how gullible Filipinos are. None of the above deals are deals. They offer nothing useful to the consumer. Yet some will be take in or wish they could be taken in by these supposedly good deals.

These horrible and plain stupid deals are more proof that businesses in the Philippines do not care about the consumer at any level except to grab his cash. They are merely trying to get rid of overstock with no regard to the needs of their customers. And why should they bother to care?

Filipinos are not smart shoppers. They are easily taken in by fake deals and fake news.

Cardboard Movie Display Graveyard

I went to see the new Star Wars movie, The Last Jedi, as soon as it came out. The first showing at 11:00 am on the 14th was pretty dead.  Not packed. No lines. The theatre was basically empty. This is how it has been the past few times I have been to a see a hyped movie of the season at the first showing. I remember seeing The first Hobbit movie and I think there were maybe five other people.

This is a good thing. It means no waiting in line, no rush, and I get the best seats in the house. For this showing I took along one of my helpers who killed the kittens I found back in October.  Turns out the first showing was in 3-D which I was not keen on but I asked my helper if he wanted to see the movie in 3-D and he said yes. So I bought the tickets. The price was only 600 pesos!  

600 pesos for two people for a 3-D movie! 

Elsewhere in the world it would cost much more. 

They also gave us a free small popcorn and soda.

I have never in my life been given a free popcorn and soda at the movies. Never. What a deal!

I did not notice until much later but the price in those tickets adds up to 460 pesos.  So why was I charged an extra 140 pesos? Was the popcorn really free or did the cashier sneak it in?

Yeah it was free. At their website I checked the price for a 3-D showing at 11:00 am and it was 640 pesos. 40 extra for ordering online!  So I have no idea what is going on here. There are some other strange things printed on that ticket like it was issued on March 24, 2014 and is valid until July 31, 2019. What!?

But I saw something much more interesting than the movie. (Consider that sentence my review.) 😛

It's a cardboard movie display graveyard!  

Why is the display for Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children still out?  That movie is from last year! The Smurfs 2 is a 2013 movie which makes that display four years old! All the other displays are from summer 2017. How long will they be hanging around in the cardboard movie display graveyard?

I wonder if they would give these things away. But seeing as how the first showing of the new Star Wars film had maybe 10 people I don't think there are enough die hard movie fans to want any of these displays.

A Barrel of Gasoline

Just look at this!

LOOK!

Why is he being allowed to fill up a huge plastic barrel with gasoline?  It looks like there might not even be a cover on that barrel. Is he screwing on a cap in that last picture? Hard to tell but who cares, it's huge barrel of gasoline on the back of a truck with no door on the bed! Also looks like its only being held in place with a flimsy string tied around the top. 

What if he hit his brakes too hard or if he got into an accident? The barrel would roll right off and...BOOM!!!! Deadly explosion just waiting to happen. I bet he is going to sell that gasoline too. Transfer it to Coke bottles and sell it to passing motorcyclists. I have seen roadside gas stands in plenty of places. Are those even legal?

This whole situation is.........(fill in the blank) !!!!!