Picture of the Week: Sidewalk Cafe

I have never been to Paris but if I ever visit I would order a cup of coffee at Cafe Les Deux Magots which was the hang out of so many writers and artists in the early 20th century. For now I will have to settle for this guy's sidewalk cafe.

It doesn't look as if there are any tables and chairs to sit down and relax in. No sandwiches or pastries either. But beggars can't be choosers. I took this picture months ago and by now I am sure the lockdown has forced him to close up shop.

Picture of the Week: Broken Down Ambulance

Did you ever see an ambulance broken down in the middle of the road?  

Now you have! Thankfully there was no patients in the back. I hope this doesn't happen if I ever have to ride in one of these things. Where are those brand new PCSO lotto funded ambulances when you need them?

Picture of the Week: This Little Piggie Went to the Market

Did someone order lechon? 

I understand this guy might not have a truck to properly transport these pigs but couldn't he at least cover them with a tarp? Driving down the open road definitely means these four guys are covered in dirt and bugs. Maybe that's not as bad as the fact that they will be sliced open on the wooden tables of the market. Gross, nasty, unclean wooden tables harboring all sorts of bacteria. Masarap!  

Picture of the Week: Epal In The Time Of Coronavirus

Ever since Duterte declared Metro Manila under a community quarantine each city and province of the Philippines has fallen one by one until now the entire country is practically paralyzed. No boats, no buses, no airplanes, no taxis, no jeepneys, no exit!  Stay inside. Keep your distance.  Don't shake hands or hug. Wear a face mask. Funny no one is saying don't have sex! I bet in nine months there will be a baby boom worldwide. That is love in the time of coronavirus.

As for epal in the time of coronavirus?  Take a look:

What is a Congressman Greg Gasataya awning doing at the hospital's emergency entrance next to the inflatable tent that will be used to isolate any patients with the coronavirus? I took this picture on March 18th. Two days prior it was not there!

https://www.facebook.com/bacolodcitypio/posts/891907061306116?__tn__=-R

So why is it there? How did it get there?  That is bad form. Congressman Greg Gasataya might not know about it but this awning does not look good next to the inflatable isolation tent.

Picture of the Week: Body Temperature

If it's not enough to be frisked and have your bags searched to enter the mall now your body temperature must be scanned. Talk about invasive! What gives Barney Fife here the right to peer inside my body?

This picture was taken at Ayala mall. Funny enough they day I took this picture none of the other entrances had a security guard taking temperatures. I understand that all the doors are covered now so there is no escaping the body temp gun. Is this necessary? If you have a high temperature what will they do? Turn you away? Escort you to a quarantine zone? We might think this is ridiculous and silly now but who knows what is coming down the pipe when some people are advocating martial law to control the spread of the coronavirus.

Picture of the Week: Sign of the Times - African Swine Fever

African swine fever does not seem to be going away anytime soon. Though the DOH has done its best to contain the virus it continues to spread. Pigs are being slaughtered left and right and the Department of Agriculture has banned the importation of pork products from certain countries. In order to allay their customers fears Robinsons Supermarket installed a sign letting all know that the meats they sell are free of ASF.

Funny thing though. This sign is way in the back of the store in the dry good section far from any food.  Why not put it right up front at the entrance?

Picture of the Week: No to Drugs

I saw this sticker on the back of a Hyundai. What I really like about it is the ambiguity.

This is not at all like, "Just say no," which is sensible advice. In fact it is Nancy Reagan's grandmotherly advice to the children of the United States to stay away from drugs. Imagine a concerned and sweet old lady telling the children of the nation not to use drugs because they are simply not good for you. It's endearingly persuasive because who wants to upset their grandmother?

"No to drugs or you'll lose your life" is much different. Combined with Duterte's fist it becomes a threat. Duterte is not giving grandfatherly advice. He is giving an ultimatum. Don't do drugs or you will die. How? Overdose? Motorcycle assassins? Could be either one. Could be both. An overdose on bullets! It's terrifying and not endearing in the least.

Look at the guy with his hands on his head like he's got a headache. At his feet there appears to be two beer bottles. Is he already wasted after two beers? What a lightweight! Maybe he is regretting having drunk the tasteless San Mig Light instead of the superior Red Horse. We all make bad decisions in life.

This sticker is rather hilarious but the sinister message it conveys and the bloody reality that backs it up is not.

Picture of the Week: Under Repair

Apparently the fire department forgot there is a nationwide 911 emergency system. If your house is on fire in this town you better be sure you know what number to call or your it's going up in smoke!

Picture of the Week: Bamboo Truck

Need some bamboo?  We deliver to you!

Does that look secure to you?  Be honest now. Does it? Of course not and yet there are trucks like this driving all over the country. This is actually worse than one of those overloaded sugarcane trucks. At least those truck have the bulk of the product protected by the walls of the truck bed. This? This is literally a whole lot of bamboo poles of various sizes loaded on a truck and tied together with that ubiquitous string that everyone uses to tie packages. 

Totally dangerous. Totally Philippines.

Picture of the Week: Pinoy Ingenuity

We've all heard of Filipino ingenuity. When in need of a fix Pinoys can come up with a solution rather quickly.  Remember the tank with wooden armour during the Marwai siege? Popular Mechanics said of this quick fix:

The armor is well-meaning, but probably not up to the job. So could wood armor actually work?

https://www.popularmechanics.com/military/weapons/a26804/wooden-armor-tank-rockets/  

"Well meaning but probably not up to the job." That is an apt description of the Philippines' construction industry. It's also a very fitting description of this week's picture of the week.

Nice door handle! Why even bother buying a new handle or door when you can fashion a handle out of some wire? Forget about the fact that the door does not need a handle to function properly because it pushes open and does not have a latch. It's a door and it needs a handle no matter what. I bet the security guard thought up this contraption.

Picture of the Week: Dog on a Tricycle

Look at this dog.  Just look at him.

Look at how he is balanced on the back seat of the tricycle. He is not tied up. He is not sitting down. He is standing up. He is not secure. Any false move and he is dead. But does he care? Probably not.  I bet he loves the wind in his face. Does his owner care? Obviously not. Or else he would have secured the dog. At least the woman has a nice seat.

Hopefully the dog made it safe to wherever they were going. 

Picture of the Week: The Avengers

This truck is perfect. The only thing I could wish for is that my camera was not zoomed in so far when I took the picture.  It is likely that I will not see this truck again for a long time.

Let's break it down. On the side is a picture of the Avengers. Some of them anyway. Captain America, The Hulk, Ironman, and Thor.

Is The Hulk giving a thumbs up? He appears to be pleased with whatever he is looking at. Hulk like! This picture is beautiful. A stunning likeness of all three. Let's take look at what Superman is doing on the front.

He's flying with one fist in the air and the other hand at his side. His legs taper away and all we get is the upper torso. It's as if he is a genie manifesting out of his lamp. Will he grant us three wishes? To finish it all off there is a declaration written across the grill:

God's Amazing Grace. 

This truck has everything that defines the modern day Philippines namely a mixture of American pop culture and empty religious sentiment. It's like every Filipino truck rolled into one.

Picture of the Week: Luigi

When I saw a lady wearing a Luigi t-shirt I knew I needed a picture.  A candid picture.  All the pictures I take, most anyway, are candid.  I did not want her to pose.  I like realism. When I saw my chance I whipped out my camera and took a snapshot.

I do not have a phone. I have a camera. So I cannot take pictures on the sly and when some lady saw me taking a picture she blurted out, "Hey why are you taking her picture!?" 

Shut up!  Gosh!  She totally ruined the moment. Quick on my feet I shot back with, "It's-a Luigi. Everyone knows-a Mario but it's not often you see a Luigi t-shirt."  Something like that. I said it in a Mario voice.  

Don't think I took this picture to make fun of this fat lady selling frozen drinks in front of her house. Not at all.  The fact that she was wearing a Luigi t-shirt really piqued my curiosity. Where did she get that shirt from? Not the mall. No way. This lady lives in the country very far from the nearest mall which is at least 50km away. I have never seen in any mall in the Philippines t-shirts with Nintendo characters. I have never seen a Nintendo character t-shirt with Luigi in all my life. Mario, Link, Pokemon, but never Luigi. 

Maybe it was sent from overseas? Maybe she ordered it online? Does she even know who Luigi is? It's rather funny seeing old people wearing clothing decorated with marijuana leaves. They surely do not know what they are wearing. This seems to be in the same category.

Anyway I think it's funny.

Picture of the Week: Elsagate

I was at someone's house and a little girl was watching a video on a phone with the volume kind of loud.  So I leaned over her shoulder to see what was on Youtube and I was pretty shocked by what I saw.

That is an Elsagate video. What is Elsagate you ask?

Elsagate is a neologism referring to the controversy surrounding videos on  and YouTube Kids that are categorized as "child-friendly," but which contain themes that are inappropriate for children. Most videos under this classification are notable for presenting content such as violence, sexual situations, fetishes, drugs, alcohol, injections, toilet humor, and dangerous or upsetting situations and activities.

The videos often feature popular characters from family-oriented media, sometimes via crossovers, used without legal permission; the term itself is composed of Elsa (a character from the Disney animated film Frozen, who is frequently depicted in such videos) and -gate (a suffix for scandals). However, the Elsagatecontroversy has also included channels such as Toy Freaks that do not feature child-/family-friendly characters but real children, and have raised concern about possible child abuse. 

Most videos in this category are either live action films or crude digital animations, although a few channels have been using more elaborate techniques such as clay animation. Despite YouTube's age restriction policies, these videos are sometimes tagged in such a way to circumvent the inbuilt child safety algorithms, even making their way into YouTube Kids, and are thus difficult to moderate due to the large scale of the platform. In order to capture search results and attract attention from users, their titles and descriptions feature names of famous characters, as well as keywords like "education," "learn colors," "nursery rhymes," etc. They also include automatically-placed ads, making them lucrative to their owners and YouTube. Despite the objectionable and often confusing nature of these videos, many attract millions of views.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elsagate

In a nutshell these are videos directed towards children featuring well-known characters involved in inappropriate situations that are not child friendly. In the video the little girl was watching a pregnant mermaid was put in jail by a witch and two sisters were fighting over the same witch's broomstick with both sisters ending up bloody.  The background music was a loud pop song before it switched to a tranquil version of London Bridge is Falling Down.  That is as much as I saw before mom snatched the phone away so she could make a call.

I have read about these videos before and watched a few but never did I think I would see a child actually watching one. What this means is that mom and dad don't know what their little girl is watching on Youtube. They are handing her the phone and using it as a babysitter. 

Obviously this kind of situation is not unique to the Philippines. But here is the thing. Mark Zuckerberg has used the Philippines as a testing ground to roll out free Facebook an internet access to the entire nation. That has radically changed the way people communicate with each other and experience the internet. I would be surprised if this little girl does not have a Facebook page already. Surely her mom has posted photos of her since birth. By handing off her device to her daughter mom is already conditioning her to being a netizen and that is absolutely not a good thing. Mom doesn't even have a clue. She doesn't know what her girl is watching on Youtube and goodness knows what online shenanigans this girl will become involved with in the future.

Picture of the Week: Christmas Banner and Leaning Electric Pole

This week's picture of the week is a double whammy. A two for one.  

A local politician's Christmas banner, still hanging in April, right next to a leaning electric pole. There is not much to say about it really. The picture speaks for itself. A self-serving politician who cannot be bothered to take down her Christmas banners. A leaning pole giving visible proof of the unreliable electric grid in the Philippines.

The only thing that could make this picture better is if there was a dog eating from a tipped over trash can.

Picture of the Week: Easter Zumba

What better way to celebrate the resurrection of Jesus than to put on your yoga pants and sports bra and do a little zumba?

And look who the instructor is! Why it's former MTV Asia VJ and ABS-CBN star turned Zumba Queen Regine Tolentino. And don't forget special guest Twinzins.  They live to dance!

This is a one time, one day only event at a luxury hotel so if you are looking to start a zumba program don't count on this class being your entry point. Regine and friends are in town for a wham-bam-zumba-ma'm evening of dancing your fat away.

This banner reminds me of the time I worked out with Arnold Schwarzenegger. True story. He came to town once and after hours of waiting he finally arrived and gave a speech about exercising and being healthy. Then he led all of us in knee bends and a few other exercises before getting in his car and driving off. I didn't have to pay 200 pesos for that privilege and doing knee bends with the Terminator is infinitely cooler then shaking your booty with a 40 year old washed up TV star and a pair of creepy twins. "Come dance with us, Danny."

Why is this hotel hosting an Easter Zumba? I have no idea but Easter Zumba is nothing new and is not unique to the Philippines. It's funny how serious Holy Week is taken in the Philippines with the government shutting down on Maunday Thursday and Good Friday and people even crucifying themselves and then seeing something as ridiculous as Easter Zumba. What a contrast. And how stupid.

Will they have Eid al-Fitr Zumba in June? I doubt it. Probably not halal.

Picture of the Week: Hang in There

For many Filipinos work and home are synonymous. None more so than construction workers who generally live onsite for the duration of the project which could be several months. For others it could be just a weekend away from home.

It seems these guys are returning back to the shop after a weekend of working the sound system at a fiesta. A close look near their heads reveals a rice cooker and the top of the ever ubiquitous 5 gallon water jug. Perhaps there are also blankets rolled up and tossed onto the speakers and cases. Likely they slept in the truck in shifts with one keeping a watchful eye on the equipment. In the Philippines the party does go all night long.

But why are they riding like this? Why has the equipment been arranged in such a manner that these men cannot comfortably sit down? For that mater why don't they ride home on a motorcycle? Surely one of the men hanging on the back or sitting in the cab have a motorcycle? Why not make arrangements to transport everyone safely if the cab is full? Why drive with the doors open and have two men hanging on the back for dear life risking both the equipment and the men? One quick swerve and all those expensive speakers and soundboards will fall out into the road making quite a mess. Why? Why? Why? Why!?

Well you know what Alfred Lord Tennyson says:

Theirs not to make reply,
Theirs not to reason why,
Theirs but to do and die

https://www.poets.org/poetsorg/poem/charge-light-brigade 

Picture of the Week: Urchin

This week's picture is of a street urchin waiting for cars in the drive-thru lane to toss her their change. I took this photo at about 9 am on a Friday when she should have been in school.  But instead she's out begging for change.

She is leaning against the wall like a tiny hooker and undoubtedly will put on her best face when she spots her mark. Inside is a security guard who probably knows she is there but likely does not care much. Every time I pass this McDonald's there are always children waiting for drive-thru customers or sit-down customers hoping to score a few pesos. I have even seen a few intrepid little urchins sneak inside and eat someone's leftovers because Filipinos do not bus their tables.

The danger of standing in the drive-thru lane is obvious but perhaps not to her. That this situation keeps repeating shows that McDonald's is not doing enough to stop it. Are they even doing anything?

Picture of the Week: Is This A Dead Body?

I take so many pictures that sometimes I do not know what to do with them all. Many of them form the substance of what is posted on this blog but many more are hidden away on my hard drive. I did post a series of pictures a few times called Scenes From Life In Filipinoville but I have not kept that up. 

Because I do want to share these pictures I am going to start another series called Picture of the Week. That does not mean the picture will have been taken that week but it will be a picture I want to highlight that week. So let's start it off with this picture I took on March 16th, 2019.

Is this guy dead?

Probably not. The story here is heading into town we passed a spot where an ambulance and a PNP patrol jeep were both parked with EMTs and PNP Officers attending to this man who was sitting up. It looked like one of the EMTs had a clipboard and the other was assessing his vitals. It was a very brief sight and the scene passed in a flash as we hurried into town.

On the way back the jeepney stopped near this man so a lady could alight and I hurriedly snapped this photo. What is going on? He's probably sleeping. Someone likely saw him asleep earlier, thought he was dead, and called the authorities to check on him. Seeing that the man was sound and healthy the EMTs and PNP Officers called to the scene left him where and as he was. That's my guess anyway.