Dying in the Philippines

Everyone talks about living in the Philippines. Who cares? Let's talk about dying in the Philippines.

It's gonna happen.

You can't stop it.

Only a matter of time. It might be a heart attack. It could be a chicken bone caught in your throat. Maybe a car cash. Or you could be out on your morning jog minding your business planning your day and enjoying the cool stillness when two unknown assailants ride up on a motorcycle and gun you down, sending you off into The Great Beyond.

http://newsinfo.inquirer.net/962349/retired-us-army-soldier-shot-dead-while-jogging-in-bohol

After your soul separates from your flesh and flies off to the Great Judgement Throne the mourners will come.  They will place your body in a casket and display it in the living room for all to see. The sounds of weeping and moaning and crying and chewing and swallowing will fill the air as they eat a big meal of rice and chicken and lumpia and pork belly and gaze upon your perfectly made-up corpse which no longer resembles you but looks more like a lifeless mannequin. A few might even pour one out for you before they pour one down their throats. 

There might be pictures of you surrounded by candles and flowers while kneeling supplicants recite the Rosary or silently mumble the Our Father. They might even pray to you to pray for them! Depends on their religion.

http://news.abs-cbn.com/news/02/24/18/wife-of-main-suspect-in-joanna-demafelis-slay-now-in-syrian-custody-dfa

You won't care because you will be dead. But you know this will happen because you have seen it. You have seen the family reunion when a grandfather's third cousin's son's wife has passed into eternity.  "Who is this person?", you may have wondered but there are others who, alas, knew her.  

You have seen the long train of slow jeepney's and vans holding up traffic as they make their way to the cemetery. Now you will be the cause of someone's delay.

Even in death you are nothing but trouble. Especially if no one has thought far ahead enough to provide for your burial. Did you have money set aside so your family can dispose of your corpse? If not don't worry because everyone will be compelled to hand over a little cash to aid the bereaved.

Off you go to be buried.  Will you be lifted up into a concrete box in the air?

Or will you be lowered down into a concrete box in the ground?

And after the casket containing your ghastly remains is out of sight the mourners will eat some more. Probably your funeral will be the cause of a huge pile of trash left behind at the cemetery.

Don't worry. (As if you can!) Someone will clean it up and there will be no trace this pile of rubbish ever existed. Just like someone covered up your coffin after they lowered it into the ground leaving no trace of your existence except a raised plot of earth and a tombstone.

But it's not over yet. Your grave will have to be maintained in loving memory. Can't let your final resting place get all weedy.  It just wouldn't do.

Looks nice doesn't it? What do you care? It's not for you. It's for your relatives who will come and party over your final resting place every November 1st. It is rather admirable though. A little raised plot surrounded with a tiny hedge and a little garden around your tombstone. Very quaint. Your family might come and do this very thing with their own hands.  Otherwise:

Your grave maintenance might be left to the cows!